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[06 Feb 2007|09:32pm] |
Had a long talk about christianity with carlos today. I feel pretty enlightened. If I wasn't so happy with my life already... I might try the whole religious thing. He says that god is just someone who he can talk to whenever and god is always there for him. Well I already have people like that so i guess god wouldn't be able to help me out too much...heh carlos is a really good guy at times....i don't understand why he's such a jackass so much of the time.
I also bought some multi vitamins today. They taste really good and they're gonna make me healthier. It's not that I don't eat right already...I just thought it would be a good idea since we were at gnc so audra could get her speed anyways.
I feel bad for pat cause i don't have any cute friends to hook him up with other than the one that he scared away already.... i feel bad cause he really is a pretty good guy. oh well. I'm gonna try and hook audra up with matt...my old lab partner. we'll see how that goes. wont get my hopes up though cause i've found that bitch is crazy.
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[22 Jan 2007|09:49pm] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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Life is alright with me. I can't remember the last time I was actually looking forward to all the class is would be taking. It's basically a bunch of random stuff I thought might be helpful. I'm going to try and change my major to art but haven't quite done that yet...i will by the end of the semester i'm sure.
Me and Audra are even taking a class together... pretty exciting. I never thought that was gonna happen.
I haven't been training as much these days since I've had school and other things on my mind. Tom's been trying to push me harder and it's just making my not want to do anything even more. I'm not sure if he really understands that there are more important things in my life right now.
He actually kinda hurt my feeling the other day too. He was saying that I really shouldn't be stuggling to get out of pools at these div 1 NACs. That pissed me off. I've only been to 2 of them... i'm pretty sure it's more of an expirience thing.
I think he's probably upset with me now for not caring as much as "should"...but really I just don't care...heh.
Don't get me wrong though. I love fencing and i'm still at practice every wednesday and friday but I'd really like to bump my GPA up a bit this semester.
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[14 Dec 2006|01:31pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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Today was the last day of classes for this semester. yay that makes me so happy. I have a final saturday morning at 8 but it's for college writing so it'll be easy. i've been cleaning and organizing all my stuff so it'll be easier to pack when I need to do that.
I was fencing really badly last night...but I felt really good in the lesson. it's usually the opposite for me. oh well... I don't know what to think anymore. Whatever. Everything will be alright....it always is.
I've been really irritable lately too. I started crying last night cause Mike was being a huge bitch to me. I hate crying in front of Wayne cause I don't want him to worry about me but at the same time, he's the only one that can really make me feel better. sigh.
Going to see Audra now so we can run through sprinklers...
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[11 Dec 2006|02:54pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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Richmond was bad...just bad. I guess that's what I need though. I obviously haven't been training as much as I should be. I feel motivated now. I definatly won't want that to happen again. I didn't even make it out of pools... Probably wont be doing much this week since I have finals next week. After that I'll start getting ready for columbus. This is the big one since it's div1/junior. I've got big plans for this month.
Wayne did a little better but he hasn't been training much either. I'm not sure how motivated he feels but i think he could do a lot better. He's a real smart guy so hopefuly i can rub off on him.
classes are going alright this semester. I still have a lot of work to do before next week though. signing up for classes is gonna be a pain because most the classes i wanted to take are full. next step is to go talk to the professors and bat my eyelashes a bit. things usually work out with me so i'm not too worried about it.
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[16 May 2006|03:20am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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my life is all right...except for the fact that it's all fucked up.
I was about to go to bed but then i got side tracked and now i'm here. tonight made me really happy. i wish it had happened earlier. If it did happen earlier, i wouldn't have been so depressed all those nights. now.....goodnight from me.
There are a few imprtant things to me. one is making me work hard. especially tomorrow when I'm gonna try to learn calc in one day from anna or rachel...I dont care who. one is going very well...except for this weekend when I lost to Sarah Kay bacause I cant fence people who suck. the other thing is probably hurting me more than the others but i still wouldn't give it up because I don't want to know what would happen to me without it.
I love the girls.
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[05 May 2006|10:06am] |
I think there's something wrong with me. I don't know what. Either that or everything else is going terrible wrong. I don't know which one I would prefer.
EDIT: Oh nevermind, I'm just really moody, oops
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[01 May 2006|03:28pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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shakira |
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I had a good weekend. I didn't have classes on friday so I went home for a bit after fencing in the morning. Mom and I went out for lunch. Then she had to go to work and I cleaned out my car and vacuumed it. I was gonna wash the outside but Audra called and wanted to hang out so I came back to Billerica and we went to the mall so she could get some sneakers.
The rest of the weekend was junior sectionals. A few minor breakdowns but everything worked out pretty well. First minor breakdown was after my pools on saturday where I was 2 and 3 and seated 22 out of 37 people afterwards. At that point I pretty much realized that I was fencing really shitty and there's no way I'll qualify. It even turns out everyone else was doubting me at that time too. I got a bye in the 64 and then fenced Emi Seaman in the 32. She pretty much sucked so I beat her up no problem. I fenced McAdam in the 16. She had beat me earlier in pools so at least I knew some of what she was doing. I basically won by being patient, keeping the distance big and keeping my hand low. We went all the way to the 3rd period and she started rushing since she was losing and I made easy work of her. I had complete control of the bout the entire time. I fenced Sam Fronz in the 8. I was in complete control of that bout too. She had no idea what to do. In the 4 I fenced hillary. I lost 15-11 because...well I'm not too sure why. I guess I kinda let her push me around but I was trying to fight. So that's kinda embarrassing...losing to Hilary. Apparently i'm out of the family now because the one thing people told me before today was that I cant lose to Hilary. Oh well. She ended up winning. Bronze and qualifying isn't so bad for me anyways. Probably one of my best results ever atleast.
We went out to the brewery pub after and the red sox won. speaking of which...yankees tonight. Should be a good time.
Sunday I just helped out the cause. Ran a few tables for Wayne and got bitched at by a bunch of russians. I was gonna run the pool of 8 for cadet women's epee but none of the referees were listening to me and they were just treating me like a retard. It's not like i've never run a big pool before...bitches. whatever. So the tournament actually went really well.
I've got so much work to do in the next couple weeks...urgh. I should probably get started with that.
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[21 Apr 2006|01:51pm] |
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mood |
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crazy |
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music |
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rent... |
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Lunch with Audra soon...How exciting. Hopefully she isn't getting lost.
So I'm going to NoHo sunday, I guess. I should do ...something before Junior sectionals...yeah. That's the only reason I'm going...tee hee.
Exams next week. sigh
Everything else is good.
:P
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[04 Apr 2006|02:11pm] |
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mood |
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crazy |
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Qualifiers were fun. I won and got my C. So did Dianna. She just wants to be like me, I know. I beat Tamar in the finals...It wasn't very close. The only people I lost to in pools were Maureen and Michelle Brann...I really need to not do that...I'm lame. Oh well. I guess it turned out alright this time.
School is all stressful. I need to see if I can turn in my soc. stuff from last semester and get a grade for it....If not, I'm totally boned and I need to do better this semester...like now. urgh. I suck at school. The lady I saw today said that I should go talk to career services people too...it never ends.
Anyways, I think I figured out what to wear for curling so all is good in the world.
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[29 Mar 2006|10:51am] |
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mood |
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content |
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Curling next week...woo. I cant wait. I gotta figure out what to wear. We're going to see Canada vs US so it should be wicked exciting...ya'll must be so jealous right now...yeah anyways. Me, Wayne, my dad and Dave are going. How awesome is that....ridiculously. I got Wayne wedged between his wall and his bed this morning. It was quite amusing on my part. Good times
We won Team Championships on saturday. It was so much fun. I was anchoring and we kicked it hard...just awesome. I fenced foil on sunday too. It was fun and very interesting. We came in 3rd...pretty good for the first time competing in foil...huh? So good weekend i guess
I need to hand in my housing info today and I should call and make an advising appointment too. These are thing I really need to do today! Then i'll take a shower and go to work. Sounds like a good plan to me.
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[12 Mar 2006|10:21pm] |
Life is good right now. I'm happy. Nothing's perfect buts that's fine with me. I'm on spring break now but i'll still be plenty busy...i'm usually pretty good at that. Got to see Anna already so that's good. I missed that girl like crazy. Sarah's back monday I guess. Yeah just realized that's about the only friends from high school coming home that I care about. I miss John...he needs to stop being an aussie...asap.
Work is going alright. We were tryin a new system saturday were there'e four sections and a runner. I was the test out runner and it was awesome. I hardly needed to do anything. it was great. I helped out whenever anyone needed it and was running around trying to find things to do but Carlos still made me feel like I wasn't doing a good job. Everyone else thought I did great so fuck him. Tuesday I have to do the cafe. bad things about that are that i've never done it before not even in the old cafe and Carlos will be there so he'll have another reason to bitch at me.....woah I just had a revalation. Carlos is just jealous that i'm Sanford's favorite waiter. I always kinda thought Sanford has kidding about me being his favorite but I'm starting to think it's true....weird. Okay, anyways, the good things about doing cafe is that I'm the only one in there so I won't have to deal with the rest of the waitstaff and I get to wear the other shirt and a regular tie...it should be interesting.
Wayne has mono so that sucks. He's not feeling as shitty as he was earlier but still pretty sucky. We have been hanging out a lot more lately cause he can't really do anything and I like being there with him. His mom and brother are in town or the week. it'd be cool to meet them but probably won't happen, i'm thinking. I'm definatly falling for this guy though. He's great. I think I'll keep him.
Fencing is going well. I think I've been fencing really well lately but no results to show. I don't know what's wrong with me....I lost to Jess at out last tournament and it just sucked...I could have done so well if I didn't have to fence her. Tamar won the whole thing and I beat her in pools. I hate when that happens. I beat stephanie on friday so that's good....I'm not getting any worse at least.
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[25 Feb 2006|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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music |
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Dropkick Murphys - Finnegan's Wake |
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Things have been a little wierd lately. School is alright. Hopefully I'm doing much better this semester....I owe the school so much money...I dunoo what i'm gonna do. I actually have to pay money for my taxes too...that's retarded. Don't they know I'm a fuck up and don't have any money to give them. They really should know that. It's their job.
It's snowing now. It's really pretty. It'd be funny if states got snowed out again. funny in a really annoying kinda way though. Dave's having me coach since Ariana isn't around. I get to be Ariana for the day. yay!
It was Audra's birthday yesterday so I'm going over there tonight. I got her a stuffed duck and some underwear with horizontal strips on them cause she thought the idea was quite funny.
Wayne's been a bit upset about everything lately. I wish there was something I could do to cheer him up but I just haven't figured it out yet. Just being around him usually cheers me up so I feel like I owe him something for that. I just want him to be happy. He's been being especially sweet to me lately. Not sure why but it's really nice so all is good.
JOs didn't go so well but I wont talk too much about that. Tom said something that was really upsetting though. I took a handfull of lessons with Dave before and Tom thinks it messed me up and I was fencing way too close because of that. I might have been fencing too close but it's really not from getting a few lessons with Dave. Dave knows i have that problem and we were practicing a lot of long distance stuff. Tom flipped out on me though and I'm not too sure why. It all seemed kinda out of line to me. I need to talk to dave about it i think.
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[16 Feb 2006|12:36pm] |
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guttermouth |
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I've been a little stressed out lately but it's alright. I'm going to hartford tonight...or tomorrow maybe...who knows. JOs are gonna be a blast. I'm probably gonna end up staying with Dave and Ariana. Wayne said something about getting a room and that would be really nice too cause i don't wanna be pissing off Ariana since a lot of people are gonna be staying over there already. It'd be nice to have a room alone with wayne too obviously. Whatever though, either way works for me. Wayne's not gonna be able to see me fence tomorrow because he's going to a funeral...which doublely sucks. I don't mind too much cause i know he would be there if he could.
okay i have stuff to be doing and i shouldn't have started writing in here in the first place
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[07 Feb 2006|11:00pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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billy joel |
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I think I need something therapeutic....I'm not sure what but I can't think right now and I absolutly can't write. I have a paper due tomorrow and I've written two paragraphs and now I have zero motivation to do anything. I just don't feel like being awake anymore.
Dave rewired my blade today. Figures that would be the one good thing that's happened to me. My roomate and her boyfriend are going to make me ill if they don't leave soon.
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[07 Feb 2006|10:35am] |
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mood |
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music |
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fiona apple |
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I think I'm stressing myself out. Things were going so well and now I have all this work and stuff to do. Oh shit, I need to buy a lab manual...and I have lab today. Kevin gave me his clicker for physics yesterday. He wasn't doing very well. He was all sad last night so I talked with him for a while to try and cheer him. I dunno how good I am at that sort of thing but he seemed a tiny bit better. JOs are next week. I'm feeling pretty good fencing at least. I beat up Jessica wicked bad last night which is something I'm not usually able to do so consistently. But I still need to start working a little harder this week.
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[01 Feb 2006|10:12am] |
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mood |
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 moody |
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God I suck when I'm like this....I hate life. Whatever. Someday everything will be perfect. I know it.
I had a weird dream last night where Rachel was going to school with me here but she's always so busy that we never get to hang out. It was really sad and now I wanna see Rachel really bad....
I worked yesterday. It was alright. We're using the new dining room so the sections are all weird...I think we might need to pick new favorites...and write new persuasive essays.
Other things are alright. Give me a couple days and I'll be less stupid.
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[26 Jan 2006|03:41pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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Life is good...I found my hole puncher! What else could a girl want. All my classes seem to be alright. I've got friends in all my classes so I'll have people to help me. I still need to buy all my books...yeah that should happen soon.
Fencing is going well. JOs in 3 weeks...eee I'm excited. I might go down and get a lesson from Dave today. Or maybe just go hang out with Dave. Whatever would be fine.
Wayne's been kinda down about his car and other stuff lately. I feel bad cause I cant really help him out except for giving him hugs and kisses. That usually seems to work pretty well though...hm.
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[24 Jan 2006|05:28pm] |
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music |
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big d and the kids table |
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I'm back at school now. People are good. Been hanging ou with Skippy most of today but they went to walmart and i'm anti-social. Benson is leaving. He lost his finacial aid so now he's screwed. He says he'll be back next semester so we'll see. The only class I had today was physics. It seems okay plus Johnny and Roger are in the class so they'll probably help he if I need it. I think this dorm makes me tired. I wanna take a nap.
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[18 Jan 2006|12:56pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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sister hazel |
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life is borderline good now. Money and working is kinda annoying but i'm gonna start working again and everything will be alright as long as Sanford doesn't flip out on me again. He was so pissed yesterday. He actually called me into his office to yell at me and he starts lecturing me and insulting me. It was pretty bad. Audra says I should have asked him to apoligize. Whatever...he's a douche bag.
Audra and I did figure out that we're both actually pretty happy now though. Both of us stopped the whole self medication thing and I think that's great. She even stopped smoking cigarettes. Now she needs to get Kev to stop too.
Got me new licence plates today...77VF80...woot.
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[10 Jan 2006|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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flogging molly |
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It just never ends... My mum flipped out on me hard core yesterday so I'm gonna have to take my car in to the shop to get it fixed tomorrow. blah. She's gonna sign the car over to me so the insurance wont be so ridiculous but after that i wont be insured for if i get into an accident that's my fault or if someone is inqured....whatever....i don't have any money anyways. I kinda wish I wasn't living on campus at school...it's so expensive but it's better than fitchburg i guess. So i figure i'll have to be paying the school about $100 a week(cause thats what mom tells me) and I'll be making aprox. $164 a week when i start working. so it looks like i might be able to get by...just barely. i'll be back at school the 23rd, i think. fun.
I found my ring today...not sure which way I should be wearing it
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